You might have just heard of a sweet space on the internet called Her Style of Tea! If you have, then you would know of Shante’s passion for young women worldwide. And I had the awesome opportunity to collaborate with Shante! Her testimony is so powerful, and like all God-written stories, it is filled with His grace, mercy and truth. So, I hope that you will be able to relate to her sweet story of being set free from a relationship idol and finding true freedom in Jesus!

If you have a testimony that you would like to share, please email me at hi@truthfullymichelle.com. Truthfully, Michelle welcomes testimonies from any young woman (ages 18-35) from all walks of life! So let’s get connected! Be God’s hands and feet and be the catalyst for change by sharing your story today!

Shante’s Story: Set Free From a Relationship Idol

What do you want most in this world? Take a second to think about it. I won’t try to tell you that it’s wrong to want it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring good things! However, nothing in this world is more important than knowing God. We can have everything our hearts desire, and still turn up empty if we don’t know God. Do you get that feeling too? 

Unfortunately, even good things can get in the way of our pursuit of God. While the world’s promises can seem great for a moment, it only leaves our hearts wanting. The sum of everything in the world will never be enough to satisfy us. We can only be satisfied in God.

I know this is a pretty bold way to start an article, but, like the Apostle Paul said, I do not want to leave you uninformed. (1 Thess 4:13) I learned the hard way just how dangerous it is to pursue everything else but God. I can tell you from experience, it’s never worth it. 

When I was in college, I took my eyes off God and decided to pursue something he clearly said “no” to. I desired a relationship with a guy I had a crush on. Soon, my desire for this relationship grew greater and stronger than my desire for God. Instead of worshipping, or ascribing ultimate worth to my creator, I worshipped modern day idols. 

Yes! Anything we put before God is an idol – it doesn’t just have to be a golden calf!

We Can Only Be Filled By the Presence of God

For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. Colossians 1:16

God created us for himself. We are on this earth to glorify God and enjoy him forever. We can only find true satisfaction in his presence. When we go after things that look right in our own eyes, we set ourselves up for failure. We miss the mark and we live below our God-given purpose.

There is a hole in our hearts that can only be filled in the presence of God. When we trade our birthright for things that can never satisfy, we aid the enemy in his mission to “kill, steal, and destroy.” (John 10:10) 

The relationship idol I pursued seemed completely innocent and good but after some time, it propelled me into a dark place. I used it as a means to feel seen, wanted, and loved. But true love is both vertical and horizontal. We love others out of an overflow of the love God first gave us.

I couldn’t see it at first but I was spiraling downward and on my way to rock bottom. I was compromising in ways I never thought I would. Instead of seeking God’s presence, I was waiting for a text message. Instead of expressing deep devotion to the Lord, I was devoted to a relationship idol.

But, God was so faithful. He never stopped running after me even though I was running from him. He never stopped pursuing me. It’s ironic, actually. While I was in pursuit of something that could never satisfy, God was in pursuit of me. 

—> You might also like this blog post: How to Find Your Identity in Christ (+ FREE 20+ page devotional!)

The Inevitable Downward Spiral from My Relationship Idol

The person I cared for so deeply could not satisfy the longing in my heart. I needed to surrender to God and let him fill me. However, I refused to let go.

No matter how much I tried, the relationship just would not work. There was so much tension, pain, and heartbreak. I thought it was the enemy then, but I now know that God’s sovereign hand was in play. He was prompting me to return to the reason for which I had been created.

But I still didn’t let up. I tried bargaining. “Lord, if you give me this relationship, then I’ll serve you wholeheartedly.” But the truth is, we can’t serve two masters. Jesus says we will end up loving one and hating the other. (Matthew 6:24) I was created to serve the Lord and idolizing this relationship simply stood in the way. 

—> You might also like this blog post: How to Find God in a Difficult Season of Life (+ FREE devotional!)

God Used My Pain to Restore Me

While I don’t believe that God causes our pain and heartache, I believe he often allows it to help us turn back to him. So, I spiraled downward, experienced depression, severe anxiety, and deep emotional pain. But God was with me the entire time gently nudging me to let go of control.

It took longer than it should have but I finally laid everything at Jesus’ feet one day. It was too much to bear. I was empty and longing to be filled. But this time, I recognized that the only One who could fill me was the Lord. 

The journey ahead was long and painful. God helped me to dismantle lies and to stand on the truth. I learned how to pray for real. I began diving deeper into scripture and through it, God showed me who I really was. Looking back, I believe the reason I pursued that wrong relationship was due to an identity crisis. When we don’t know who we are, we settle for less than God has for us. We were created to worship him but somehow we find ourselves worshipping worthless things.

There is nothing in this world more important than knowing God. He should be the one we live for. We are all prone to getting weak and tired. It’s only the Lord who can restore our strength. We should sit at his feet daily and let him fill us with his Spirit.

This experience was one of reasons I started my faith based blog, Her Style of Tea. I want every woman to find their identity in Christ and to grow in their relationship with God. I want to see every woman live out her purpose by glorifying God. There is no greater joy than knowing the Lord. 

You might also like this blog post: Hannah’s Testimony – Finding Jesus in the Midst of Anxiety and Broken Dreams

Truthfully, I Tell You This…

So, let me ask you again, “What do you want most in this world?” If your answer isn’t God, then it may be time for a prayerful assessment of your life. This isn’t meant to shame you or make you feel badly about yourself. It’s simply because I know what it feels like to have my heart set on something other than God, and I can tell you, it’s not worth it. Pursue God first because this is the purpose for which we have been created!

Written by Shante of Her Style of Tea

Shanté is the founder of Her Style of Tea, a Christian lifestyle blog that helps women develop a real and practical relationship with God, embrace their identity in Christ and find true fulfilment in life.  In addition to writing, Shanté works full time in New York City as an Apparel Production Assistant. When she’s not working, you can find her reading a good book, sipping on a warm cup of tea, or taking a peaceful walk in the park. You can connect with Shante through social media @herstyleoftea or through email Shante@herstyleoftea.com.

Hey! Here Are Other Testimonies…

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … Melissa’s Testimony: Finding Jesus in the Midst of Anxiety, Wordliness and Heartbreak

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … Maclean’s Testimony: How God Called Me to Be More than a Lukewarm Christian

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … Oyelola’s Testimony: How God Saved Me Through a Medical Miracle

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … Kristina’s Testimony: How I Found God as a Former Perfectionist and People-Pleaser

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … Hannah’s Testimony: Finding Jesus in the Midst of Anxiety and Broken Dreams

or browse the blog HERE!

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The Ultimate Guide on How to Write + Share Your Testimony

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It follows an in-depth, but easy-to-follow, seven-step formula…

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Before You Go!

If you have a testimony that you would like to share, please email me at hi@truthfullymichelle.com. Truthfully, Michelle welcomes testimonies from any young woman (ages 18-35) from all walks of life! So let’s get connected! Be God’s hands and feet and be the catalyst for change by sharing your story today!

So tell me friend! Have you been placing your hearts on something other than the One who calls you by name? Do you have a relationship idol in your heart? Drop a comment below and let’s get a discussion going! 

Follow the Girls After Truth Instagram

Don’t forget to follow the Girls After Truth Instagram account for faith-filled hand-lettering + art, daily devotionals and a sneak peek behind-the-scenes look into the ministry life <3 And use the hashtag #girlsaftertruth to get connected!

—> CLICK HERE to Follow the Girl After Truth Instagram!

Hope to see ya there!

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