Do you remember what it is like when you locked eyes with your BFF for the first time? Was it an immediate connection where you were like OH MY. This beautiful human gets me? Or was it a little bit of a love-hate relationship at first?

Friendships are second nature to most of us. Two people who get along choosing to enter into a lifelong relationship of camaraderie (yes, I’m being a little bit of a fancypants with the word camaraderie), with one another. Friendships meant to be two hearts linked together with genuine care, affection, and loyalty to each other. To me, friendship meant that the two people in the relationship would never give up on one another through thick and thin, hardships, and joy.

But, one day I came head to head with a difficult decision. I had to choose whether to hold on to a toxic friendship with a girl I had been very close to or choose to let it go. And being the girl who always held onto everything close to her heart, this was something that took a lot of strength.

But being a Christian doesn’t mean that you should keep pursuing a friendship that isn’t bearing any good fruits. Do not think that being a ‘Godly’ friend means that you need to constantly put yourself down or stick to a toxic friendship. Staying around isn’t necessarily always the most ‘loving’ thing to do. Instead, sometimes the best thing to do for both parties is to just pray at a distance.

Knowing when to let go of a friendship can be a tricky thing. But your spiritual wellbeing and your relationship with the Lord should never be put at risk for any relationship in your life. So, here are three times you should seriously reconsider the place this friendship has in your life…

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When to Let Go of a Friendship

1) They are Pulling You Away From the Lord

OK. If you have stuck around with me on Truthfully, Michelle for long enough, you’ll know that I am an absolute Q.U.E.E.N when it comes to making terrible analogies. But since you’re here already, you might as well hear me out!

Imagine you and God can be represented as pieces of velcro on a really unflattering pair of white tennis shoes. And what connects the two of you is your relationship with Him. BUT, when something bad gets stuck in between aka. a friendship with someone that isn’t bearing any good fruit, the two pieces of velcro can no longer stick! Yep, feel free to give me a bit of smack for the terrible analogy!

What am I trying to say?

Well, if being with this person makes you feel like you are compromising your relationship with the Lord, then FLEE.

Like 1 Corinthians 15:33 states; “Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” This definitely does not mean to stay away from nonbelievers completely because even Jesus walked among the desolate. Instead, what this means is to be very careful of the company you surround yourself with. Because even those of sound faith can be corrupted if they frequent the company of ‘bad men’. So don’t be prideful if you believe that your faith is strong and your belief in the Lord is great. This is because even King Solomon who was glorified as the wisest person in his time fell when he brought into his home hundreds of idol-worshipping concubines/wives.

So, if you believe that your friendship is one that isn’t bearing any fruits of the spirit, be wary of the company you are keeping! If this friendship is causing you to pull away from your faith, remember that your relationship with the Father is far more important than any other relationship you have here on earth!

—> CLICK THIS LINK TO READ: Can Christians Say No to Others When We are Called to Love?

2) When You Are Living in Fear of this Person

There is no doubt that you will get into the occasional spat with your friends. So even if you have a fight with someone close, this doesn’t mean you should just give up on them. After all, everything worth having takes effort! BUT God is not a God of fear and God is not a God of worry. So, if you constantly find yourself feeling fearful, it is time to re-evaluate the place this person has in your life!

Fear is one of the enemy’s favourite weapon of choice to use against us. From the darkness of the shadows worry, anxious thoughts and fear will attack us and control our minds and hearts. So, if you find yourself completely in fear of your friend, I ask that you just seek the Lord. If you find yourself dreading that they will message you, find you or express a wish to hang out with you, then it is time to re-evaluate your friendship with this person.

But remember, even in the midst of your fear, you are not alone. For Isaiah 41:10 states; “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” And Philippians 4:6-7 states; “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

—> CLICK THIS LINK TO READ: Prayer for Calmness of Spirit

3) If You Find Yourself Being Treated Like You Have No Value

I thought for a while that we needed to live in a way where we were constantly acting as doormats for the world. Even if a friend slapped you with lies or intentionally and maliciously brought you down, that you should turn the other cheek and continue being friends with them. But through reading Scripture more and getting to know the character of God, I don’t believe that is the entire truth. Sure, it is part of it, but not the holistic, complete view of it.

God loves you so, so, much. You might know ‘biblically’ that God loves you a lot. But if you truly knew how much He loved you, then you would know that He would never be okay with someone treating His precious child whom He loves so deeply like they were nothing. From the moment that you accept Him as your Saviour, you have Christ Jesus living inside of you; “I am crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me.” —Galatians 2:20. So how can you mean nothing or be treated nothing when you have God Himself dwelling within you!

This isn’t to say that we weren’t meant to live a life as servants of the world (because we are!) but when we put ourselves in the bad company, it will only corrupt our character. So, while these are two very contradicting truths, I believe that it will take a lot of prayerful discernment and patience to navigate whether a particular friendship should be something you continue with or if you can begin loving from a distance!

Click the image below for your beautifully designed, 20+ page downloadable devotional!

Hey Friend!

God loves you!

If you believe that God is calling you to end a friendship that is bearing no fruits of spirit, just remember His strength is made perfect in weakness. Ending a friendship that once played a significant role in your life is never going to be easy. But the Lord calls us to live for Him and not for the world. So, look to the Lord for His Word. His Word will be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path.

Knowing when to let go of a friendship and actually letting go of it is not going to be easy. In fact, it might just be one of the hardest things you do in your life. But stay true to what God is guiding you to do. After all, He knows all things and He alone will provide all things.

Hey! Here Are Other Resources…

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ: 6 Characteristics of a Godly Friendship | How to Be a Godly Friend

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … How to Find Your Identity in Christ

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … Biblical Truths for the Girl Who Doesn’t Feel Like She’s Enough

—> CLICK THE LINK TO READ … Can Christians Say No to Others When We are Called to Love?

or browse the blog HERE!

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Before You Go…

So, tell me! Have you ever had to let go of a friendship? And what lessons do you think God taught you during that period of your life? Drop a comment below and let me know! Let’s start a discussion!

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